Don't Mess With Snakes: Common Sense Between the Genders; By: Ashley, Allie, Anh, and Nikkita

It is now time to find out who the true idiots of the two genders are. We are basing this story on a hypothetical situation when some 21^st Century students are on a field trip to a desert. Boys vs. girls against a snake seem pretty logical when dealing with who has the common since and who is just dumb out of their minds. Well, I guess we will figure it out in this story.
The 21^st Century students are chatting happily away while Ms. Opfer drives cautiously. Ashley, Allie, Nikkita, Anh, Jalen, and Adam talked to each other like crazy on the trip to the desert. Some of the students, however, found the desert heat to be uncomfortable, and started to become drowsy…
“Yeah dude! I can’t wait to go to the desert! It’s gonna be awesome.” Thomas said eagerly not knowing what’s coming at him.
“Yeah!” everyone agreed with Thomas. The girls were so ready for this trip as they read the book aloud on things not to do in the dessert.
“Always run away from snakes; never go into a cave without a weapon. Hm… Sounds interesting. We sure need to remember that when we leave,” Said Allie anxiously.
“Come on, everyone. I want you to know that you need to be safe because I want to get there and get back but you guys are staying for a few nights in a row,” Ms. Opfer explained to the students.
“Whateva. Me just want to eat! Me hungry!” Nikkita said in a funny voice, rubbing her stomach. Ms. Opfer dropped the students off at the camp site, and sped away like there was no tomorrow.
“So, dudes. We should go check out that cave we drove by!” Thomas said while spazzing out.
“You go ahead, Thomas. We’ll stay here and set up camp. Idiot…” Anh said, shaking her head. “And remember what we said earlier about caves!” she added as the boys walked away. The girls started setting up tents and equipment, while Jalen, Thomas, and Adam ran to the cave they saw earlier.
“Whoa! Dudes! This is awesome!” Thomas exclaimed as he stepped into the cave.
“Be careful, man. I think I see something slithering on the floor right there.” Jalen said, pointing.
“Whoa, man, whoa,” Adam said, as he pointed the flashlight where Jalen pointed. “That’s a snake! It’s a good thing it’s small.” A crunching sound echoed through the cavern as Thomas jumped on top of the five inch snake.
“Yeah! I’m a hero now. I saved us from the snake! That would’ve been awesome if it was like an alien and we had a space fight with it.” He grinned.
“Hey, guys? What’s that noise?” Jalen said, as a hissing sound rung in their ears.
“I don’t know man…” Adam said. He turned and shined his flashlight towards the back of the cave, and the light reflected off of two huge eyes, belonging to a very angry snake that was at least seven feet long.
“Holy crap, dude!! Let’s get out of here!” Thomas said, as the guys bolted out of the cave, with the snake slithering closely behind.
The girls, who were busy setting everything up for dinner, saw the boys running crazily over one of the sand dunes. “What in the world? What are those three doing?” Allie questioned. The girls stared at the guys curiously as they arrived the camp.
“Snake… Huge… Behind us… Help!” Jalen gasped. The girls looked behind the guys and saw a large shape heading over the same sand dune that the guys just sprinted over.
“Oh, jeeze. Girls, you know what to do. Anh, grab your machete. Nikkita, grab whatever you can find. Allie, grab your lucky board with the nail. I’ll get my heavy combat boots. This thing is going down.” Ashley ordered. As the girls ran back to the tents, the snake had caught up with the guys. They then backed up, and did so until the snake had them pinned to a sand dune.
“Aw, this sucks. Totally on the crap.” Thomas said almost casually.
“Aw man, aw man, aw man!” Adam said, looking as if he were about to cry. Jalen was strangely silent.
“Stay quiet, and play dead. The snake might leave us alone.” Jalen whispered. The boys then flopped on the floor and stayed silent. Unfortunately, that didn’t fool the snake. He rose up, and struck Adam.
“Ahh! Help me, man!!” Adam cried. Adam kept shouting as the snake swallowed him quickly, without taking a bite. Jalen fainted from the sight of his best friend moving down the snake’s stomach, and Thomas finally shut up for once. Suddenly, the snake hissed and twitched. The two surviving boys looked over, and saw Ashley crunching the tail of the snake beneath her boots, and the girls standing behind her.
“Woot! We’re saved!” Jalen exclaimed. The girls acted quickly, as they tried to save Thomas and Jalen. Allie charged up to the mid-section of the snake and began to beat it with her trusty board and nail. However, the boys stopped her and explained that Adam was in there, and may be alive.
“Holy mother of-” Anh began. “We have to get him out of there!” Nikkita then charged at the snake with a passion.
“I eat snake!!” she shouted, tying a bib around her neck, as she pulled out a fork and a knife. She then stabbed the reptile in the back of the neck with her dinner fork. Ashley used her trusty boots, and jumped on the snake, causing the bones to crush violently.
“Booyah!” Ashley exclaimed.
“My turn!” Anh shouted, as she took her machete and sliced open the back of the snake with one fluid swoop. The snake dropped with a loud thud, and Allie rushed over to make sure he was dead.
“Okay, he’s definitely toast.” Allie said with a grin. Anh rushed over and carefully cut the snake’s stomach, pulling Adam out, unharmed.
“Holy crap, man! That was scary! You do not wanna go in there.” Adam said, as he shook off the snake goo that he was covered in.
Later that night, the group sat around a campfire, eating their large prey. Nikkita was sitting happily, crunching on the snake’s head.
“Yay! I eat snake! Me not hungry now!” Nikkita said, laughing. The group laughed at her funny accent, and headed off to bed for a peaceful night's sleep.
Thomas woke with a start and looked around. “What in the world?” Thomas said, as he looked around. “Where am I?” he questioned. Ashley smirked as she turned around and looked at him.
“You’re in the bus, going to the desert. You know, the same place you were before you rudely fell asleep during our conversation?” she said, as she gestured to her other friends.
“I was sleeping? Whoa. So, that snake fight was just a dream?” Thomas asked, still a little weirded out and confused.
“Yes, for the twentieth time, you were sleeping. And what snake fight are you talking about?” Ashley looked at him with curiosity and confusion in her eyes.
“Was me in it? Did I eat snake?” Nikkita asked with a gleeful smile on her face.
“Did we kick butt by any chance?” Allie questioned Thomas with a hint of pride and strength in her voice.
“Yeah, did we? I was in it, right?” Anh chimed in.
“Dude, you guys were all in it. But, there was no space fights. and I can't believe all of the guys were saved by the girls. So on the crap.” Thomas said, his head hung low in disappointment.
“Oh, Thomas….” Ashley said, as she shook her head at his stupidity. Then she laughed. “You know, maybe there will be snakes. Try not to get eaten, Adam!” Everyone laughed as they saw Adam’s confused face.
“This is gonna be one crazy trip,” Anh laughed, “it always is with you guys around. I'm just glad that girls have more common sense than boys.” Everyone agreed as Ms. Opfer continued driving towards the place where spectacular adventures may take place.